Sunday, July 17, 2011

How can I help my fiance get over something that happened in my past?

When I was younger I was raped. I acted out in a way I know a lot of people have done. I had my reasons, i was damaged, and I didn't know how else to cope. I have come to terms with my past, I myself have let it go. I know that in the end my actions were not right. But he hates how people are when it comes to sleeping with people. He hates how so many people think its ok to sleep with so many people or that I let myself go through that. He doesn't understand nor will he ever, but it bothers him. he thinks about it a lot. It hurts him so bad to think about what i have done. I tell him the past is the past it doesn't have to do with us. Its only you and me and none of that matters. Its not like i loved them or there was emotion behind it. I know that makes it pointless and it took me meeting him to realize I'm better than that and I don't have to deal with that and that I shouldn't have in the first place but I did and its done. How do I help him get over something that really isn't his problem? How do I help him to realize the past is truly the past? I fear that if he can't learn to let this go its going to continue to hurt our relationship when really there is no reason for it. I don't go around dwelling on the few people he has been with, I know its the past and I know its only me in his eyes but I need help to help him see the same way I do....thanks for your time

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